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Nov. 18th, 2009 @ 11:04 pm Just to knocka knocka knocka me down
MY GOD I'M A GENIUS


Sometimes I get all indignant that my work is not universally adored and that I'm not all super-famous. And then I remember that I have produced absolutely nothing of substance in my entire artistic career, and I calm down and make myself a snack.



That face in the last panel there is probably my most accurate self-portrait ever, next to the one I drew of me drinking Worcestershire sauce out of the bottle.



Sorry if this one offends anyone's delicate sensibilities. I'm an admitted crotch-watcher, but seriously, white underwear freaks my shit out. Eughck. CRITIQUE CORNER: the art could've been way better on this one.

So you'd think after taking a week off I'd have more to show you. THINK AGAIN! It was my birthday and I went down to my sister's college town to get roaring drunk and laugh my ass off for eight hours. It's the end, the end of the (quarter) century. You know, I used to get all upset about getting closer to thirty, but at this point I've finally made my peace and am looking forward to the rumored Puberty 2.0 coming down the pike. Hello bigger butt and increased sex drive! Yeeha!


YOU HAVE A SON, AND IT'S ME

We've gotten REALLY into the Office around here (I know, always late to the party). I drew this as a tribute to my love for a certain mustard-shirted beet farmer. Jim Halpert may very well hold my depraved imagination in thrall, but it's Dwight Schrute who rules o'er my heart.



See you next week!
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Nov. 4th, 2009 @ 11:50 pm I'm not your twin, I'm just the amputee
HI

Okay, it's past my bedtime, So I'm going to try and minimize the chatter here.


NSFW- Tasteful Boobies )

IN OTHER NEWS

That's all for tonight, I'll try to be back around this time next week with more!


Really, who isn't these days. Wrap it up.

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Oct. 28th, 2009 @ 12:05 am Fatso Goes Nutzoid
What?!  Yes!  I finally pulled my head out of my ass long enough to start updating again.  Pretty much everything I've drawn between now and my last entry looks like shit to me, though, so I whipped up a bunch of comics just for my comeback (they look like shit too, but guess what: my blog = I make the rules).

HERE YA GO


I'm sure there's plenty of Archie/Jughead slash out there but I'm definitely not going looking for it.  This is the only gag comic in this post, the rest are all boring bits about my life.  Just giving you fair warning.


Absolutely true.  She recently dyed her eyebrows blonde, though, and it looks super weird, so I think we're even.


More than you ever wanted to know about what I look like naked!


Also 100% true.  Well, more like 95%, because I only start work at 10 like three days a week.  Have I mentioned my fantastic new job at the local comics shop?  Remind me to brag about how much it's improved my quality of life sometime.


This one is super-embarrassing to admit, but I swore on Captain Lou Albano's grave to keep it real for y'all and the last thing I need is that guy haunting the shit out of me.  Last one!


Mmmm, space pants.  Episode V still gets me all tingly. 

Well, now that I've thoroughly jacked up your friends pages, I'm off!  See you again soon, I think, and with better things to show you!  



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Jul. 20th, 2009 @ 09:41 am Not dead
Ohhhh dear.  I haven't posted in awhile, I know; I still don't have scanning abilities, and have been very busy trying to pull my life together.  Don't worry, I haven't quit drawing entirely: I still try to sketch a little everyday, and am working (verrrrry slowwwwwlyyyy) on commissions that I've owed some very patient people for about a million years, and am trying very hard to get off my ass and keep pecking away at my bigger projects.

So while I don't have any drawings for you today, I do have some news- the latest issue of Always Comix is coming out next month, and I have a piece in it!  The very nice people of Always Comix independently publish their own work as well as an anthology twice a year.  Check them out at http://alwayscomix.blogspot.com/ .  You may notice they've linked me on the sidebar, which was the impetus for this entry (gotta look busy for company!)  I'd better get on this scanner problem and start posting art in here again.

(too early in the morning for even the simplest html, sorry)

If you are reading this, I love you, thank you for sticking around.  I'll get better at this, I promise.
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Apr. 13th, 2009 @ 09:40 pm Update Shmupdate
No art today.  I've been pretty much completely absent from the internet lately because my laptop shit the bed (should've seen THAT coming- it was a three-year-old Dell).  Honestly, the detox has probably been good for me, and I don't know when I'm getting a new computer, so things are going to be pretty quiet on my end for the time being even though I have access to John's laptop in the evenings.  Anyone with the right to contact me should know how already.

So how have youuuuu been?

I'LL GO FIRST

My car is awesome- it's a 1991 Toyota Corolla station wagon that my friends' dad sold to me for $100- but lately it's been making noises like a cat being fucked and I'm a little worried about it.  John developed an ulcer but he's on the road to recovery; work sucks but I'm grateful to have a job at all in this economy.  Have been slowly working on comics and commissions. 

Currently reading Wetlands by Charlotte Roche (it's over the top but I kind of love it; will address the notion of "gross-out feminism" at a later date).  Currently listening to Spinnerette (not quite my thing but I want to see them when they come through, probably because I am a big lesbian for Brody Dalle).  Re-read Y: The Last Man all the way through and cried like a BITCH even though I knew how it was going to end because I got really attached to the characters this time around.  Also got all weepy reading through my journals from a few years ago because I was such a basket case and can barely remember what it was like to be that person.  And then cried some MORE watching Star Trek: Generations with John over dinner tonight!  What's wrong with me?!  There was a holdup with my insurance when my crazy-pills ran out last week, and I thought I wasn't experiencing any withdrawal symptoms, but all this quivering-baby-bunny bullshit is definitely not normal for me.  Have been having extra-weird dreams lately.  Blah blah dear diary blah blah.

Tune in next time sportsfans- maybe there'll actually be some art or comics, oooo.


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Mar. 27th, 2009 @ 09:20 am Come on, SUMMER
Still here, still trying to produce something halfway decent.   I'll let you know how it goes.



Check out my dog:



He's an awesome guy.  Right now he's sleeping with his chin on my foot and I don't want to move and wake him up. 

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Mar. 5th, 2009 @ 08:39 am Way way back in the 1980s
FAILSTORM

Hi.  I haven't posted much lately (for me, anyway) because my USB ports are all on the fritz, which means my laptop isn't recognizing my scanner.  Also I've been really discouraged about making art and comics (among other things); I feel like I'll never be as good as I want to be, which leads to avoiding drawing, which leads to inertia, which only makes my work shittier because I get out of practice.  It's the magic of depression, kids.  I am trying really hard to pull myself together and commit to both Emissary and my own graphic novel right now, though.  No giving up yet.

Too many of those sentences start with "I".  I hate that!

I actually did manage to make a poster for the upcoming Propagandhi/ Paint It Black show, though.  It's really big and detailed and I was really happy with how it turned out... until someone pointed out that I spelled Propagandhi wrong.   In Sharpie.  Once I get it fixed and taken to Kinko's I'll post it here; for now feel free to have a laugh about it.  "Propaghandi".

IN OTHER NEWS



Oop, there's still some of these backlogged.  Yay, this entry wasn't a total loss!


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Feb. 18th, 2009 @ 10:10 am Bomp bomp bada bomp
QUICK QUESTION

Can anyone tell me how Twitter works?  Is it all done by phone- like, if your friend twits, does your phone ring?  Or is it just internet-based?  I need a new drug but am not entirely certain that adding another arm to the octopus of my online presence won't make me a (more) horrible person.  Maybe I'll delete my facebook, as it's pretty much just become a tool I use to embarrass myself in front of people I used to know.  Input appreciated.

IN OTHER NEWS



Trying to draw every day, but it seems like I'm always struggling with inertia.  Game-changing developments may be on the horizon for me, though- let's keep those fingers crossed!

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Feb. 14th, 2009 @ 09:14 pm UNF


All spry on the Grolsch over here.  Happy VD you motherfuckers!  MWAH

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Feb. 12th, 2009 @ 08:43 pm Great Scott!
DREW ANOTHER NIPPLE -SHOULDA BEEN DRAWING COMICS



There's a lot of things I like about markers but a lot of things about them that suck.  And I looooove drawing with Sharpies, but I can't shake the notion that a serious artist ought to use better materials.  This might be a good time for something I've been meaning to bring up:

CRITIQUES

You guys, I am way flattered and grateful to you for reading this, and I want you to know that I really welcome any technical or conceptual advice on what I post here.  What works?  What doesn't?  What could I do better?  In the past I've been kind of defensive about internet criticism, but from here on out I promise to be an adult and not get all butthurt at people who are kind enough to take a minute and help me improve my artwork.  Go ahead, tear this shit apart- friends don't let friends draw ugly pictures.  Be brutal.  I can take it.

*caveat: I reserve the right to silently disregard your comment if it's obvious you're just trolling and don't know what you're talking about.  Doi.

IN OTHER NEWS



I'm worried about the color of my toenails.

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Feb. 1st, 2009 @ 10:12 pm The American in me
IT'S BUSINESS TIME

I really need to stop watching so much Flight of the Conchords, because the more I do the more I want to sex them up, and I don't have the energy to add a couple of Kiwi hipsters to my list of sweaty fantasies.  At the moment I need that energy to devote to finding a better job, and to drawing comics that are not total crap.  Attempted 24 Hour Comic Day and gave up after three hours; the graphic novel I've been working on is really strong storywise, I think, but the art looks SO BAD TO ME.  Some days I don't know why I bother, when I'm barely keeping up with my adult responsibilities.  I don't know what I'm doing.

COMPLAIN COMPLAIN COMPLAIN OKAY HERE'S SOMETHING I DREW



I don't think I articulated my point very well, but the art came out okay.  Make-up is fun for me, but damned if I'm going to pay money for it.


IN OTHER NEWS



John is a little walleyed, but only when he's not focused on anything in particular.  It's cute.  I've drawn an assload of these, and have been having a lot of fun loosening up a little; I think my "In Other News" section is going to be showcasing these until I run out of ideas or get bored with it, whichever comes first. 



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Jan. 28th, 2009 @ 10:55 pm Party 'til you puke
THIS IS JUST WHO I AM OKAY GUYS

THIS IS JUST ME ALL RIGHT





IN OTHER NEWS

Fucked Up and Deep Sleep were great- that show was the most fun I've had in awhile.  Looking forward to Propaghandi/Paint It Black in a month here; I think I am going to do a flier for it.  Yes.
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Jan. 17th, 2009 @ 02:34 pm And I'll lose my heart on the burning sands
ACK



Gawd, I suck so bad. You guys have no idea. I'm never gonna make it.

AT LEAST I'M GOOD AT DRAWING NIPPLES

Read more... )

IN OTHER NEWS

It's colder than a witch's tit out, and pretty much every major and sub-major thoroughfare in the area is going to be shut down for the big bash on Tuesday, which I do not have off. Maybe it's time to quit door-to-door dogwalking and just become independently wealthy.

Or I guess I could sell out and get an adult job for once. SHYEAH, roight.
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Jan. 10th, 2009 @ 07:19 pm The bastard, the bastard of the ice!
HOLIDAY, SUN, ETC.

On cold, cold nights like this one, all a person can do is dream about warm afternoons, pickup baseball, and boys in their summer clothes.



Sheesh, is it obvious enough that I'm really into guys with mohawks?  Unf.  John won't shave his sides down in winter though (and who could blame him), so I'll just have to find something else to fetishize for the time being.  I'm open to suggestions.

IN OTHER NEWS

Have been working on something I actually failed to mention in my big laundry list of projects a few entries back (a graphic novel about a girl gang); I've finished several pages and will probably post a few here for critique in the future, if I ever get over the notion that they look fucking horrible and should never see the light of day.

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Jan. 2nd, 2009 @ 11:50 pm Golden love, is holding on
NEVER PROMISE CRAZY A BABY

2008 was a year of major downs, some pretty great ups, a few milestones, general cussedness, and a number of ill-advised emails.  I feel like my art came a long way, and at 24 I am still keeping it real, so I'll count it as a success on a personal level.  Here is a picture of my new haircut, to kick things off.  This year I am gonna make shit happen you guys.




Here is my first drawing of 2009.  If you recognize her, I'll draw you a cookie.



IN OTHER NEWS

Joey is taaaaanked and rolling around my apartment like Baby Huey.  He is singing what sounds like A Global Threat but the words are "Don't let fat leaders go on Adkins to lead a fat nation/ Jesus was down with the F-A-T." 

Okay, now he is holding Ulster by the face and yelling "YOU'RE A POMERANIAN, YOU HAVE FUCKING PAPERS".  I'd better lock the balcony door before he whizzes on the downstairs neighbors.



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Dec. 27th, 2008 @ 11:26 pm My first Christmas as a woman
CHUGGING RIGHT ALONG

This did not actually happen.



It was inevitable- I drew a Tank Girl.


An Emissary-related drawing.  It's not a love story by any stretch of the imagination, but I still like to draw the two protagonists like this, because I'm a romantic sap sometimes.

IN OTHER NEWS

Can't talk, too busy watching one of my favorite movies (see icon).

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Dec. 21st, 2008 @ 09:03 pm Dreams unfulfilled, graduate unskilled
YOU BASTARDS

Hngh, have been having a rough time lately.  Anxious and paranoid and in kind of a fog since finals week.  It occurred to me today that my college experience has run parallel to the Bush administration: begun under disingenuous circumstances, marked by stupidity and poor decision-making, influenced by unsavory outside powers, culminating in a miserable quagmire and general fucking embarrassment all around.  And it's gone on way more years than it should've.  Heyo, look at me being all topical.

So now that I've got some time off, I'm going to take a moment to regroup, and then I am going to set about the task of eating, sleeping, and breathing comics.  Here's a non-exhaustive list of my current projects, highest priority first:

EMISSARY(working title)- my goal is to get the first issue published within the year.  This is the big project I've been working on with John, the full-length series about a post-plague America.  I have high hopes for it (and hope my baby skills are up to the challenge).

LONG NIGHT- a one-shot comic I'm hoping to publish via lulu.com.  A little more on the artsy side.  I'm hoping to do it in color, but I'm going to have to figure out how to color comics in CS3 first.

CYANIDE MILKSHAKE #2- I guess none of you would know about Cyanide Milkshake #1, which I drew up and printed out at Office Depot last year.  It's just a crass little comics zine full of masturbation jokes.  If I'm happy with how #2 comes out I might reprint #1 (I only made 15 copies last time) and sell them through Paypal for like a buck, if anyone's interested.

There's also BLEEDER, A YEAR ON THE GALLOWS, that porno series, and DEAD CITY LOVE, but those are all older ideas that need some tweaking and are on the back burner for now.  This is going to take some discipline, eek.  Wish me luck.


MUST BE FUNNIER


A comic.  They're not all gems, guys.


To make a long story short, a few years ago I told [info]esyla  I would draw her some pictures and mail them her way.  They never reached her- partly my fault, partly my crappy campus mailroom's- and I have been feeling like a jerk about it ever since.  I drew this as a small gesture of apology.  Hey Sarah, one of these days I'll make it up to you.

IN OTHER NEWS

Hamburglar = "Beef Thief".  This has been cracking me up most of the afternoon.  Happy Obligatory Family Season, kiddos.

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Nov. 26th, 2008 @ 10:47 pm Bloodstache
DISJOINTED MUCH

I have never been to any comic con.  What if I don't have what it takes to make it as a cartoonist?  Art is all I know how to do.

Feeling very quiet tonight, as if we're waiting for snow, or for the bathtub to fill up.

If you drink a lot of Midori (plus vodka), your burps will taste like cantaloupe.  Ffffffuck, I hate cantaloupe.


Portrait of a marriage.  For those of you keeping track at home, John lost a rib by falling out of a second-story window in high school (where we met).  When I showed this piece in class as part of a presentation of my work, I talked about the Adam and Eve story, and the rib as phallic symbol/ wound as yonic symbol.  Also: religious iconography, subcultural trappings, themes of repression and addiction.  The background is Coney Island, which is kind of a special place for us.  Incidentally, tomorrow marks the third anniversary of the day we went to the zoo, snuck upstairs under the pretense of Scrabble and ended up sucking face for four hours.  And walking to the 7-11 afterwards, to share a Baby Ruth bar.  The more things change(haircuts, tax status) the more they stay the same (candy, makeouts).

Spellcheck doesn't recognize "yonic"?  What the fuck, Livejournal.  Sheesh.

IN OTHER NEWS

I'm a little drunk.  Tommorrow I get to see my brother and sister, and get paid double for half as many dogwalks.

Did you not know that I'm a dogwalker?  I'm a dogwalker.  By day. 

WHY IS DOGWALKER A WORD BUT YONIC IS NOT

GAWD


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Nov. 20th, 2008 @ 11:37 pm Maybe this is just a lull, but I can never let go
I'M NOT COMPATIBLE, I'M NOT COMPATIBLE

Something about this time of year always makes me very nostalgic, and it's come on especially strong this time around.  Maybe it's that I just turned 24 and am not dealing so well with the fact that I'm getting older; maybe it's because lately I've been fixated on the notion that if only I could do the last seven years over again everything would be okay now; or maybe it's just because "Home for the Holidays" by Lemuria has been stuck in my head for like a week.  Whatever the case, life's been a pill and I let drawing fall by the wayside for awhile there, so here are some not-funny comics I just whipped up.


A day in the life, more than ten years ago.  It's weird how much you can remember, when you try.  I was SUCH a wolfshirt.


Patterns of behavior.  Thank goodness I broke out of this one; I may have a lot of bad habits, but gutlessness in the realm of sexy things is no longer one of them.

IN OTHER NEWS

This weekend I am going to see Cornell West lecture, going out for breakfast with my rad mother-in-law, and catching Common fucking Enemy for the first time in way too long at the Sidebar, in reverse order.  Sweet.

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Oct. 25th, 2008 @ 08:00 pm Come on baby, and eat the rich
PUT THE BITE ON THE SON OF A BITCH

More soft-core second base* foolin'-around.  Ho hum.  I'm thinking about finding a host who will let me put up more explicit stuff; would you guys be into it if I did?  I mean, do you mind a bunch of nipples and boners making your friends page smell all sweaty?  Because, contrary to appearances, I'm a little shy about the whole porno thing and probably won't commit to it if there's no interest.  Lemme know.

That guy's hand on the table is kind of bugging me.  I redrew it like eight times and I still don't think I got it right.

*Groping and dry-humping are second base, right?  Or first? 


IN OTHER NEWS

This is what happens when you go to the DMV after hours of working and running errands and not sleeping the night before and wearing a hat and the picture lady tells you to get the hair out of your eyes:


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